A major U.S./Canadian border crossing was closed for an hour yesterday after customs officials found what they are calling "a disturbingly small amount of gasoline" in a vehicle on its way to Seattle.

They won't elaborate on the octane of the gasoline but did indicate that two days ago the Department of Homeland Security had advised all border patrols to be on the lookout for any vehicles that appeared to be "consuming less fossil fuels" than normal.

"We interpreted this to mean any hybrid gas electric engines, solar assisted vehicles and, God forbid, hydrogen powered,"

"Take the hamster out of the wheel and step out of the hybrid...NOW!"

said one Customs agent who asked not to be named.

Tom Ridge, DHS Secretary and SUV driver defended his department's action by releasing a statement that said, in part, "Defending the homeland means more than just taking off your shoes at the airport. It also means defending the homeland's economy for our large business owners, including, as in this case, oil refiners, extractors and importers."

"Filthy conservationists, they get what they deserve," said the unnamed Customs agent. "The vehicle in question was a Toyota Prius. They hadn't even bothered to camoflauge it in a Saturn body," he said shaking his head, "It's like they wanted to get caught."