When asked yesterday whether the seemingly unending string of revelations and gaffes that have embarrassed the White House and plagued his presidency would hurt his bid for reelection, President Bush responded, "Those were not my fault."

"For real," he added.

The question came after the latest blunder, a report released by the White House in April which seemed to show that the number of deadly terrorist attacks in 2003 was the lowest since 1969. Last week the real, official one became public and showed that the number was the highest since 1982, contradicting the Bush administration's earlier claim that the war on terror was proceeding "off the hook."

"A computer-tational error made us have these findings," said Bush. "Actually, I have to go over the numbers, but I'm still not sure which report I've settled on.Or anyone should settle on. For that matter."

"I'll repeat. It's not my fault."

Then he opened his eyes wide and said, "Maybe we'll find that the first report is more, uh, accurate."

The President's indecision stems from a debate about how the numbers in each report were calculated. Last week's report contains the sum of known terrorist attacks in 2003. A committee of panelists has been appointed to report its findings on possible sources of the figures in the earlier report.

"For starters, we are conducting colonoscopies on the members of the administration," said an official who declined to be named. A preliminary hearing on daytime TV has been tentatively scheduled for late spring or early summer of 2005.

It has been another unwelcome blow to an administration that, many feel, should get credit for not welcoming them.

But the damage may already have been done. Alluding to the previous administration's auto-erotic policies, Times correspondent Dill Feinstein says, "Ironically, Bush gets called a jerk-off more often. And so it's not true that [the terrorism report] will undermine his credibility -- you can't undermine what's six feet under. Not figuratively."

Even the President's allies find themselves vacillating. The administration has conservative views on issues such as gay marriage, but has nevertheless managed to make an unprecedented number of American men say, "I don't like Bush."

In one of the more memorable George Costanza-like incidents, the President told about a billion people that Saddam Hussein was on the verge of mass destroying everyone, and then conducted a one-year, 100,000-man search of Iraq that yielded goats, patent leather shoes and a Costanza-esque red herring, a big metal tank that had been drained of its corn meal.

Along the way, there were memos containing warnings that were comically ignored. Diplomacy that makes Wile E. Coyote look like Colonel Sanders. And a POW scandal that will make you relive the time your mom found out you tricked your little brother into eating bugs.

Many have been left to wonder if there might be consequences before November. Yesterday, the President was asked, "In light of all the explaining they've had to do on your behalf, has your staff expressed any reluctance to make new announcements?"

"No, not at all. I've always been able to count on Colin Powell and the rest of them to sweat it out without a word of complaint. Let's give those guys a big hand!"

Asked how he expects to be remembered, Bush quipped through his endearing smirk, "With my face red." He later added, "No doubt, Abu Grabbi will be my Gettysburg."