Saying she's been pushed beyond her "reasonable limits" a suburban housewife has put her foot down and declared a "War on Clutter." Full Story >> |
US Central Command in Iraq today announced that they have found evidence of the much sought-after Iraqi Weapons Stockpile. A team of Soldiers from the 607th Ordnance Group has uncovered what they believe to be a weapons development facility in an "affluent" suburb of Baghdad. Full Story >> |
Uncle Donald wants you, sucker. As the continued violent uprising in Iraq stretches into its third week, Congress has suggested that reinstating the Military Draft may be necessary to bolster American Forces already stretched thin. Full Story >> |
C-Span will run seven second delay After weeks of stalling, stonewalling and otherwise obstructing democracy, the Bush White House has succumbed to mounting pressure, announcing that National Security Director Condoleezza Rice will publicly testify before the 9/11 Commission. Full Story >> |
Lack of Reagan references hurts movie's credibility First the Jew-bashing hype over Mel Gibson's "The Passion", and now this: Conservatives are taking Disney Studio's Hockey saga "Miracle" to task. Their beef: In a film that is largely set in the 1980's, nary a reference to Ronald Reagan is ever put forth. Full Story >> |
Living the high life Times are suddenly, strangely tough in Colorado. What started out as a minor molehill of "gettin' that nasty" has erupted in a "mountain o' coochie poppin'." Full Story >> |
US Press Cultural Analysis In response to a recent wave of what they perceive as Southern-bashing, Southerners of all stripes are coming together from all corners of the old Confederacy to resist those who would mock them. What started out as a well-meaning--but vastly misinterpreted--comment from a presidential candidate was exacerbated by a spate of news articles, songs, stand-up jokes and films. Additionally, they say they are not going to take it any more. Full Story >> |
Take my organ...please Influenced by news of a successful Husband-to-Wife Liver Transplant, doctors are seeing a sharp spike in general Husband-to-Wife Organ donation activities, a recent AMA article reports. Inspired by such a selfless display of love, husbands nationwide are literally cutting themselves open to outdo one another in an unintended conteste de l'amour. Full Story >> |
Is sure He has time to oversee one little legal transaction A local housewife, tired of empty promises from a myriad of realtors, has decided to leave the possible sale of some land her husband owns, "up to the Lord." Full Story >> |
Is you is or is you ain't? The nation's top economists were on hand today for a press conference kicking off the annual Hooray for Wealth Forum, a yearly gathering of those who benefit most from the moneyed underpinnings of our great society. Full Story >> |
God's lawyers have yet to respond to request State District Attorney John F. Dinsmore said Wednesday that he will seek a subpoena for God (a.k.a. The Almighty) for questioning in connection with the brutal beating of three young boys by their own mother, resulting in the death of two of them. Full Story >> |
Continuing Coverage of Ass Watch 2003 A report released today by the Bethesda Naval Hospital shows that the Government has reached a new pinnacle: Not only is the nation's leadership, or "head" planted squarely up its ass, but medical doctors that keep tabs on the nation's health say that never in the history of the U.S. of A. has the head been so very far up its posterior. Full Story >> |
NBC vows not to pre-empt 'Friends' God will reveal his Divine Plan for Humanity on Thursday, and many observers are certain that, whatever His key points are, they themselves will not need to fundamentally change anything. Full Story >> |
Is America finally ready for a new font? In what media critics hail as "a bold new step into an ever-brightening future", CNN unveiled its latest innovation, a brand-new font style for its Terror Alert Bug. Full Story >> |
